Weekly Review of 3/16 - 3/20

For the past couple months now, my after school life has been devoted to our school musical; Big Fish. And just Friday we had our opening night, which also served as our dress rehearsal since teching the show took so long. But we pulled it off. And even though a lot of things may have gone wrong, it was pretty awesome. And you can never really tell, but as far as I heard, the audience loved it. It's incredibly emotional, which makes it easy to like, but also everyone involved really cared about pulling off an incredible show, which kind of makes it hard for it to be bad. For me just being able to be part of a story telling experience like that is priceless. Whether or not people like it or not doesn't make much of a difference. So now I'm pretty happy. Content. Just waiting to put on the play again.

Weekly Review of 2/15/15 - 2/21/15

Before I continue I'd like to explain what happened with me and homework. I've always been a kid. I think I still am a kid, or at least I want to be. And I always want to stay a kid. A child's mind is the most creative and honest thing out there. But I think I'm growing up. And maybe that's why the last couple years of my life have been getting worse and worse academically, thus affecting the rest of my life. Or maybe it's the massive amount of tv shows I've watched that have turned my head to mush. Or maybe I'm just really dumb and I've just found that out today. Not quite sure. So until seventh grade 2nd semester, I had it all going for me. And by that I mean I wasn't a screw up. I was awesome. But then I started to not do homework. Only occasionally though. Seventh grade was just the start of it all. In the summer I made sure I got my life together. And the first ten weeks of eighth grade was awesome. But then my shitty self started rolling in. I once again began to not do homework or wait till the last second. Basically what would happen was, I'd get home, unwind a bit, get back in the homework mood, but then just drift. Think endlessly. Wonder. All the while, just sitting there staring at a wall. And sometimes I was able to snap out of it, but not enough. Over the next ten weeks it just got worse. I began to just sit there accomplishing close to nothing. By the end of the year the stress of my first C, a couple B's and fighting to get myself to work at all made me cry for no reason when I got home about once a week. When the summer came I was so relieved I indulged myself in tv and days of doing nothing. I tried to gear myself up for the coming year. But ninth got me about five weeks of success academically. Then I fell into my pattern and I've been there ever since. That's why I had to find my drive. And I think I have. I figured since nothing else worked to motivate me, I'd have to take the common option. College. The future. But then I realized I didn't know what I want to do in college. Or for the rest of my life. For the longest time I wanted to be an astrophysicist but that seems to limited. I love tv, I love stories and I love to write. I want to write. But not when I get to college. I went to write now. I won't be young forever. So write now. Screw college. So that's what I'm embarking on now. It's pretty fun.I've developed quite a few ideas to write about. I imagine writing a book a great book. And everyone I know likes it. Sees me differently. But I don't really care about that. No, my dream, my ultimate goal, is to write a book, a god to honest great book and to just be walking along, or in a store or at school or something and for someone to tap me on the shoulder and recognize me for my book and compliment me. That's my goal. That's my drive.

Weekly Review of 2/8/15 - 2/14/15

So I went out in search of my drive. I don't like how everyone in high school seems to be racing for college. That's their one goal, the one thing that will make everything in high school worth while. And hey, that might be, but to spend your life waiting for the future doesn't seem like much of a life. When you get there it'll be great but right now, you're here. So might as well make the best of it. I also think that's part of the reason why I'm having so much trouble doing homework. Getting myself to actually do it is hard mostly because it's boring and because I don't want to do it. Society has kind of forced us to accept this kind of education because it seems like the obvious and logical way to learn. Getting kids to memorize, study and get good grades isn't how I want to learn. Education and learning does great things when used correctly, but can also also lead to mediocrity. Kids these days are just told to get study to get good grades to get into a good college. The other day I was talking with my sister about some of the problems I've been having in school. She took Spanish for 5 years in high school and middle school and she also got straight A's her whole career minus a couple B's, but she can barely a remember a single thing. All the conjugations, vocab, verb forms, flushed down the drain. She's only been out of Spanish for half a year. That's pretty messed up. Hours upon hours of work everyday for something she would just forget extremely soon. So then why did she get all A's in that class. Because she passed her tests and turned in her homework. The only reason why she puts up with it all is because she has a passion for the theater. Acting. She wants to act when she grows up but she can't do that unless she goes to a good college. That's her drive. I tried out several things. A video game called Star Wars: The Old Republic, TV shows, just being successful, Lego stop motion, enjoying the now. None of it really worked. Trying to do homework is just as hard if not worse. I'll find my drive eventually.

Weekly Review of 2/1/15- 2/7/15

You know I used to think I was okay. All my life I got A's and the occasional B in school, I've had friends, I've had fun at school, I've been good at things. But now I just suck. I haven't actually done homework in forever. Thanks to that it's the second quarter and I have D's and F's. So academically wise anyway, I suck. I mean I think I have a good personality. I have some friends. People like me. And I feel great when I don't have to worry about homework. And I actually like school. I actually like being there, I like learning there, I like walking through the halls, I like watching people laugh and smile and make their way through life. But then I come home and I have things to do, homework to do, that I don't want to do. I'd rather watch Netflix or dream. And so it's been a while now struggling with my homework life. I've finally come to conclusion that I'm incredibly lazy. Work, practice, learning is good for me. But for some reason I just wanna sit. But I can't do that anymore. I think I need a drive. A reason to keep going, pushing myself. So now I've got to find it; My Drive.